John's Fight
by teaspoonbooks
Summary: Post United as One. John made a deal and lost his gifts in exchange for something, or someone, important. But now he has to live with that choice. One shot, R&R.


**A/N: This takes place after United as One, but with everyone living together instead of going off to Neverland. Read and Review. Let me know if you want anything in particular written, I'd love to write something for you my lovelies :-***

I wake up in a cold sweat, a scream escaping from my lungs. My sheet is clenched in my fists and my heart is pounding. I had another nightmare. I sit up and swing my legs off the side of the bed. I rub my face and run my hands through my hair. I've been having nightmares ever since the war ended. Nightmares of dying, of watching my friends die, of failing. Nightmares of my dead father, and Henri telling me I've disappointed them. Nightmares of that monster Setrakus Ra coming back to life. But the worst nights, nights like tonight, the nightmares are real. I can't just wake up from them and try to forget about it. They're nightmare of listening to Sarah die, watching Henri die, not being strong enough to overpower Setrakus Ra when I had the chance. I get up and quietly sneak out of my room. For the first few nights Sarah would share the bed with me, but after the endless nightmares started, I had to have her leave, I couldn't live with her watching me at my weakest, not knowing that she's part of the tormenting scenes inside my mind. She shares a room with Ella now down the hall. We all stay in this hall and I'm incredibly grateful every night for the sound proof walls. I know Sam and Six, and Eight and Marina are too, but for a completely different reason.

I walk down the hall, moving silently, and go into our personal gym. The equipment has been modified, thanks to Malcom, Sam, and Adam, to fit with our legacies, or their legacies. Legacy offered me a choice the moment to war ended. Be given more power and legacies than any Loric has ever had, or bring back Eight and have my legacies striped forever. I didn't even have to think about it. I chose Eight. I was rewarded for my selflessness with Sarah. I hate myself for saying it, but I wish I put more thought into my decision. It's not that I even wanted to be more powerful than anyone, but to completely lose my legacies, it was like losing who I am. I probably would have made the same decision, though. Seeing how happy Marina is with Eight, I could never take that away.

But it's still terrifying thinking that I'll never have my legacies again. Worse than the nightmares are the good dreams, the dream where my legacies are back, because awaking up from them is crushing.

I get on the treadmill and start running. If I have to live without legacies, then I'm going to be as strong as possible. I run. And run and run and run. I image I'm back in Paradise, running to school with BK alongside me. Then I was hit with memories of Sarah and how in love we were with each other, and how happy I was getting my legacies, how Henri was a father to me. My vision blurs with tears and I can't focus on where my feet were going. I trip, falling hard on my face. Pain flames around my nose, blood pouring out of it. I put my hands up to heal it, then remember I can't. I shout, angry and in pain. Then burry my head in my arms.

"John? Is that you?" I look up and see Eight's head looking around the doorway. I try in vain to wipe the tears and blood away.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?"

He ignores my question and walks over to me. "Are you ok?" His eyes and soft and it's abundantly clear he's not just talking about the mess on my face.

"I'm fine." I don't bother putting any truth behind my words, it wouldn't take a genius to figure out I wasn't.

"I'm going to get Mar, ok? Stay put." Before I can argue he's gone, teleporting away. Must be nice.

In a matter of seconds, he returns in front of me with his girlfriend at his side.

"Oh John. What did you do?" She asks, kneeing down by me, and gingerly takes my face in her hands.

"I tripped." I mumble. It takes no time at all for my nose it be healed.

"Thanks," I try to stand up, ready to leave with what's left of my dignity, but Eight pushes down on my shoulder, just enough to keep me from standing. Then he joins us on the floor.

"John, you know we are eternally grateful for what you did. I owe you everything. I don't what you to thing we don't know how much you lost because of us." Marina says, grabbing my hand.

"Yeah, I know you know, I would've done it for anyone." I look down at my lap.

"But you did it for us." Eight says.

"Wait, you don't think anyone thinks less of you because you lost your legacies, do you?" I met Marina's watery gaze.

"Of course you do. All of you. Nine and Six especially. And Sarah, she fell for a strong, powerful alien. I'm nothing now."

"That's what you think?" Eight gives a dry, humorless laugh, "John that's got to be the dumbest thing you've ever said. You are the reason we won this war, the reason earth is safe. The reason we all are safe. You didn't lead us with your legacies, you lead us with your brain and heart. Six and Nine are upset because they know how much pain you're in. They see you as their brother, and watching you be plagued with nightmares and self-hate, and not being able to do any for you kills them. And Sarah," he raises his eyes up, then looks back at me, "I promise you, she did not fall in love you because you couldn't catch on fire, or because you could move thing with you mind. I you don't know that, then you really need to talk to her. John, we all love you, and we can't see you like this, stop shutting us out. Please, let us in, if not all of us, one of us. Let someone help you before you destroy yourself."

"He's right you know. No one but you thinks any less of you because you're not superman." Marina hugs me and Eight joins, shouting "GROUP HUG!".

"Thank you. Really, but I just don't know how to start moving on."

"Well," Marina stands up and offers me her hand. "How about we start with making breakfast and see where we go from there."


End file.
